Unfortunately due to a certain spider biting you in the balls, it seems you've come down with an ailment that requires you to masturbate and ejaculate, or... well... die a painful death. Fun times. Dr Jane has helped you alleviate the build up for now and has prescribed medication to help you out in that endeavor. Maybe you can enlist the help of some friends, or even family, to manage your new found illness? SPOILER
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